I did too much. I have reached my limits. I feel like an absolute failure. And I don’t know how to get out of this by myself. I fell apart at work. My boss even came up to me and gave me a lecture about how I see work and my personal life as one thing, how I shouldn’t do that, and make sure I take a step back before I ruin my life.
He sent me to the company physician, and they concluded that I have a burnout. I knew something was up. I cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel anymore, and like I said last week, I need help. It is all my fault. I forced myself to do too much: too much work, too many social obligations, too much pressure. I couldn’t do it all at once. I can’t fight this by myself.
I really hope that the help I am getting now will get me out of this. I am ready for things to change. I am ready for things to get better…
As seen in other diaries, within Western culture, it is normal to see work life and personal life as one thing. Many people are also afraid to take days off, time for themselves, or their earned vacation days with fear of looking incompetent.
An interviewed psychologist (2019) says that nowadays, there are so many options for millennials, which is pleasant, but it also makes it stressful because it gets confusing. It causes decision stress. Then you often get that everything has to go well once you choose something and it has to go according to the step-by-step plan in our head. But a step-by-step procedure is not realistic. A house, then living together, then children, a career. This is no longer possible. They became less flexible in their way of thinking. If it does not work out according to their plan, then they failed. The idea of failure, when something does not turn out perfectly, is often what brings them down.
The influence of social media is also becoming increasingly important in the development of burnout. Because we get stimuli and information all day long, our brain doesn’t get a signal to relax anymore. In this way, stress accumulates, and the proverbial bucket flows over more quickly than it used to. The average age at which you get a burnout is also getting lower and lower as a result. Your phone connects, but research also shows that people who are very active on social media still feel less connected to the people around them. Personal contact and the feeling of connection produces the hormone oxytocin, which is the counterpart of the stress hormone cortisol. The interviewed psychologist (2019) also agrees and says that research shows that a lot of social media use creates a constantly agitated feeling, and this is very addictive. It creates a constant stimulus of news, reports, and comparison material of peers. It creates an unconscious fear of missing something.
One thing that comes up in all of the interviews conducted is that millennials with a burnout feel like they were always overachieving and had a great sense of disappointment once they did not succeed at everything they set out to do. They forced themselves to do too much and to want to do it perfectly. This eventually led them to cross their line. All of them wish they did not put the bar too high for themselves and that they weren’t as disappointed with themselves. It is ok not to be perfect; it is ok not to do everything, and most importantly, it is ok to take time for yourself.
These articles have been addressing different symptoms that come with a burnout and things that can lead to being diagnosed with a burnout. All I can hope is that the people reading this will reflect on their own life and take a step back when necessary. We only have one life, let’s make it about more than being a ‘perfect’ human being. Because what does perfect even mean?
Comments