Dear diary,
I need help. I can’t do this anymore. I feel so incredibly lost. I feel like nothing is ever good enough. I have been working on these university and work projects for months now, and I am still not happy with the results. It is like it will never be enough like I will never be enough.
Last night I only slept three hours because my mind just wouldn’t shut up. I kept having panic attacks and just lay there, worrying about everything that is wrong with my life. I realize that turning 30 is coming awfully close and I am not sure my boyfriend still wants to be with me, I am in a basic position at work, I don’t have my masters yet, and if I keep failing, I won’t ever make it. I don’t even have a savings account that I can get a mortgage with. I just have so many expectations that I failed to actually reach. Why? Why can I not just succeed in life?
I am so exhausted and just want to be ok again…
This diary is all about perfectionism. Many people who eventually have a burnout, are perfectionists. There is a massive expectation from society for millennials to act in a certain way that is seen as ‘perfect’. This has worked its way into the self believes of millennials. That also causes them to have very high standards of life that they want to live up to. 86% of researched millennials think it is crucial to find a partner for life, 50% expects to climb to the highest position in their sector in their career, and 54% wants to earn money above average. Careerwise also surveyed millennials, and 27% state that the social pressure of having to be successful is the most challenging factor for them. 59% also state that they struggle a lot with expectations from themselves, and 46% struggle with wanting to do everything perfectly when working.
In 2015, ArboNed stated that there were roughly 100.000 of the 3.1 million millennials unable to participate in society due to having a burnout. Sadly, these are not the only millennials affected by burnouts. 20% of millennials are suffering from chronic stress-symptoms who are still working or studying but close to getting an actual burnout. Many millennials are perfectionists that do not work in a ‘perfect’ environment; they often work with a negative work vibe, a strong top-down culture, and not enough personal growth. That is why millennials are a high-risk generation. They put a lot of pressure on themselves to perform perfectly, and this is accompanied by a strong sense of personal responsibility. Because of this, they experience enormous powerlessness when they are unable to exert a positive influence on their situation.
This diary also deals with the expectation that everything needs to be figured out before the age of thirty. Nine out of the ten conducted interviews with millennials that dealt with burnouts; the conclusion was that they thought they had to have everything perfect before 30. All of them had to adjust this picture in their head once they were diagnosed with burnout. Many sources online also show the stories of people with this belief: “When I made it out of my 20s without making the Forbes 30 Under 30 list, I wasn’t crushed, but I was far more disappointed than was healthy. And it wasn’t about the recognition - it was the shame of feeling like I haven’t done enough with my life ... and that time is running out. Perhaps even more insidiously, somewhere along the way, we’ve started to truly believe that it’s normal to have made your biggest contribution to society before you’re even old enough to get a rental car,”.
Many of the stories behind burnouts found in interviews and research are dauntingly similar. They all come down to feeling too much pressure to perform perfectly. This often also goes hand in hand with the expectation that this perfect life needs to be created before the age of thirty. An interviewed company physician also recognizes that millennials tend to want everything; a house, a good job, a family, time for leisure, et cetera. and often before they are thirty.
