Dear diary,
I was supposed to go on vacation next week, but I canceled the trip. I have not been feeling great lately, and because of that, I feel like I have not performed well at work. I am afraid they will want to fire me if I take some time off now. I don’t want them to look at me like I am incompetent. I know I could really use the days off, but I am just so scared of the consequences. My parents and boyfriend are not happy that I canceled the trip. We got in a huge fight. But I just feel so uncomfortable with the thought of letting my boss and colleagues down. I don’t want them to think I don’t care about this job.
This week we worked on a big project at work. I had the lead, and I put all of my hours into it. I even skipped school this week, so I can focus on the project. But we didn’t succeed to make it as perfect as we had to. I feel like such a failure. I think I should’ve worked even harder. I am sure there’s something that I could’ve done to make it better. I hate this feeling of failing…
I don’t get why I am struggling so much right now when all of my peers seem to live flawless lives. On Instagram, I keep seeing my friends post pictures of parties, dinners, and vacations while I can’t even get myself to leave the house for some drinks. I wish I was as social as them and had time to be social. They have so many friend groups with perfect-looking people, and they actually have time to hang out with them. I don’t get how they do it. Why isn’t my life as perfect as theirs?
I really hope it’ll be better soon. I don’t know what to do. I feel so exhausted but don’t know how to make it better. And I know, I know; I could go to a psychologist. But what am I supposed to say to them when I don’t know what’s wrong with me?
The fifth diary focuses on not taking a break from work.
The research firm Gallup reported that Americans leave 5.7 vacation days unused every day on average. The remaining travel days accumulated 705 million unused travel days in total. “Work-related challenges had the most influence on Americans’ ability to vacation. Employees who were concerned that they would appear less dedicated or even replaceable if they took a vacation were dramatically less likely to use all their vacation time,” (US Travel Association, 2018).
The US Travel Association also conducted research that showed that the main reason for Americans to travel when they do is to avoid burnout. When asked what the most important benefits of traveling are, the main benefit is also reducing stress.
This diary is also about how millennials often have the idea that anything is possible, as long as they work hard for it. And mainly how this idea led to a feeling of failure when they did not succeed. Psychologist Launspach wrote a book about working with millennials because he noticed that the number of burnouts within millennials was increasing. In his book, he explains that millennials grew up with the idea that ‘anything is possible, as long as you do your best.’ This also includes the expectation that you have to do something special to be worthy as a human being. He states that because of that, millennials have incredibly high expectations of their work life. He acknowledges that having ambitions is not a bad thing, but it is wrong when it turns into feeling like a failure whenever you do not succeed in everything. This also created an environment in which it is frowned upon when you ask for help. Unlike the millennial and generation Z, generation X was raised by baby boomers with the ideas’ work hard, do your best, listen well, and work doesn’t always have to be fun’. But Generations Y and Z have learned; ‘enjoy your life, do something you like, always give a 100% and see the world’. That is an ideal that no one can live up to.
Besides that, the diary is also about the belief that everyone else is doing fine. This belief is often created on social media. A research performed on depression among US young adults by the University of Pittsburgh showed that social media exposes young adults to an idealized version of peers. This causes a distorted belief that others live a happier and more successful life and creates a feeling of envy.
The interviewed company physician (2019) also says that social media creates pressure always to represent yourself in the best way, even if you are struggling. Life nowadays for millennials is all about being a ‘brand’ more than a person online. A Guardian columnist expressed the influence of media the best: “Your entire life is an extension of you as a brand. ... Your Instagram photos must show you are fun and cultured enough to maintain interest but not drunk enough to appear a lout. Your Twitter should show your connection to current affairs but not alienate people of a slightly different political persuasion, and show your pithy sayings have garnered enough of a following to show you’re a somebody. Our e-mails follow us home, and our social media footprint is with us 24/7, and yet still, millennials are struggling with basic chores. ... You can characterize it as a generational issue when it is one of capitalism. With each shift in technology, employers and big corporations swiftly worked out how each new website, app, or function could serve them. If it makes you depressed, they can monetize that too: Instagram, Facebook and public transport are full of adverts for new apps that let you see a doctor privately, or book online therapy courses and virtual doctors’ appointments if you’re too busy to see your family doctor, or can’t get the time off work”.
However, there are more initiatives taken by society to see what they can do to remove a bit of this work-pressure. Helder Groen, a Dutch company in Haarlem, makes the desks go up into the air at 6 pm so employees cannot work nor answer e-mails until 9 am the next morning. The question is just if this is enough and if more companies and organizations will follow.
