Dear diary,
This week was a tough one. I had another meltdown. I finished my deadlines, but I just am not completely happy with the results. I have been working on these deadlines for months, but it just did not feel good enough. I had to turn everything in, and my boss seemed happy. I also got good grades for my university assignments. But I just felt like it was not what I imagined it to be. I did what was necessary. However, it was not unique. Is being unique more important than being good?
This all led me to a point where I could not manage to get out of bed for two days. It was like all of the energy had left my body. I went to the doctor, and they told me that it would be smart to start talking to a psychologist. She said that I have this urge to perform, which causes me never to be happy with the results of anything I do. This drained all of my energy out of my body, so finally finishing everything just exhausted me so much. She says that talking to a psychologist would help me prevent this from turning into burnout. I don’t know how I feel about that. It feels like I am failing if I talk to someone. Like I couldn’t handle it on my own… But her talking about me potentially getting a burnout freaks me out. I am not sure I agree with her. What I feel is probably normal, so I will just try not to worry too much about it.
I will think about it this week and see what I’ll do.
This diary is all about overachievement, setting up bars too high and being on social media.
Metro conducted a survey with 2000 Dutch juvenile participants with age between 18 and 34. When asked the question of why they want to go or are currently going to a psychologist, they mainly answer that they put the bar too high for themselves and are never happy with their results. Psychologist Derksen says that this generation has a ‘neurotic urge to perform.’ That is why they have been coping with burnout symptoms for a while now. They are continually working on their image, but not their inner selves. They want to perform well but have never learned how to deal with the stress.
The interviewed company physician (2019) also states that the way millennials multitask on social media makes it more difficult for their brains to relax and to focus on something. They are often online while doing other things, which puts more pressure on their busy life.
The conducted interviews with millennials that have dealt with burnouts all showed that overachievement is a big part of how they got to where they are now as well. They put the bar way too high for themselves and therefore expect too much. When they cannot reach all of these expectations, they are disappointed and feel a sense of failure. Many times this feeling then leads to more ‘failing’ in their eyes. They feel like it’s a problem that keeps getting worse and worse before they hit a wall.
